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Saturday, May 12

Getting older, moving on

When asked to write about the themes ' getting older/ moving on':

Getting older, moving on

For me, those words apply mostly to leaving the disappointment in my physical incapacity behind me. It’s still hurts, of course, but I have learned from experience that there are far more important things to life than mobility, and that there is more to me than just my shortcomings.

When I was younger, my disability had a stronger impact on my life than it has now. Adolescence, of course, was something that influenced my emotions on this matter very much. Friends around me started to sociolize with new people, go out, drink, take trips, go iceskating, dance. The girls started getting boyfriends. Not any of these things seemed to be for me. I can’t remember the countless times that I cried about it late at night. Anyone, in their adolescence, wants to somehow boost their ego. My ego was non-existant, and I would certainly boost no teen’s ego with my crippleness.

I moved through my first highschool, without enjoying it. The kids didn’t understand my disability at all and therefore bullied me, also because I am the perfect victim for it. Even worse, the teachers didn’t understand my handicap. I couldn’t get by and they couldn’t help me. I transfered to a different school, for people with any form of handicap, where I finished my highschool education quite smoothly.

Somewhere around that change, came my change of mind. This new school enthused me, about my future, while I had previously been living from one day to the next. The kids understood me here, because after all, they all had shortcomings. I owe one of my best friends to that school even now.

University was another turning point. In an even better direction. I finally got to use my talents. And heck, the students there respected me for it. We all were older, more mature, even if to this day I remain the youngest of my class. For once, I actually felt gifted, and even smarter than some of the other students. I felt better, for once in my life. I can’t begin to describe how that made me feel.

Even though I still cannot go iceskating, dance the way I would want to, go on a trip, and I still have not been able to boost anyone’s ego, I am content now, I grew older, I learned, I moved on.

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