Every once in a while I think I deserve a little moment to rant on my blog, even though it might not be something you all want to read. Too bad for you. I just need to get some things off my chest every once in a blue moon.
When I look around me, I see most of my friends happily dating, with serious relationships or just going on casual dates on a regular basis. I don't have that at all. I sometimes get really jealous because of this, which I sometimes admit and sometimes deny. It's just, I can't seem to put my finger on what it is that prevents me from dating. Is it my handicap? Am I immature? Am I not attractive? Being 2o years old now, I would have thought that I was the proper age to go on some dates, to have a boyfriend and some decent couch-huggle-company. But no. Everyone around me seems either taken or not interested in me. And those that do show interest in me have a handicap of their own, which wouldn't be a problem if I actually liked them back enough.
Sometimes I think I'm too picky. I would rather not date someone with a handicap (one that affects life in a drastic way, I should say), because I have enough trouble dealing with my own. I don't have room for another disability on my mind. Is that wrong?
I just get so, so lonely from time to time. Most days I am fine but when all my friends are away with their dates and boyfriend, I do feel it sting. I want some love too.
Rant over.
With love,
Maartje
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